What If...

This has got to have been one of hands-down THE most intimidating weeks of my life. I don't think I've EVER worried more about anything than this past week! Why? Because. That's why.

Over the past several weeks (but ESPECIALLY the last seven days) I have had an overwhelming knowledge of the blessings poured upon me. I recognize the massive amounts of sacrifice which have been made in my behalf. I have watched as people support me and lift me up and get excited about the work that I have undertaken. I have observed people speaking of me, not knowing I was around. I have sat helpless as people have unconditionally given me their love and their confidence and their words of encouragement and as I have done these things, one massive thought goes through my mind: What if I fail? What if I cannot live up to their belief in me? What if I don't capture the potential they see? What if....What if....What if....

It's a scary thing, that unknown. I feel the Lord's hand in all that has come to pass. I feel His power and His strength and His blessings. I KNOW that I am supposed to move forward and attempt this impossible. I have such strong testimony of His timing and His purpose. But I am only human. I am little ole, simple ole me. I am unlearned. I am basic. I am ordinary. But, through this process, I have also discovered that I am unwavering. I am determined. I am ambitious. I am.......maybe crazy...............

It's a hard thing to do, this sort of thing. Whether I succeed or whether I fail, I am in the public eye. It will be in front of the world. I am vulnerable. BUT, I will give it my all. I will try my best. I will do all the Lord asks me to do and with that, I can only accept that whatever happens will happen. Whatever will be, will be.

But until then, until the fruits of my labors are made seen, until the CDs are in my hand and the downloads begin a'selling, until then, in the back of my mind exists those two little words: what if.........