Dear Easter Bunny,

I have just worked my little guts out for 8 weeks in order to lose a little bit of excessively excessive poundage that I once carried. I have hip-hopped and walked and squatted and pushed-upped and twisted and jumped and climbed numerous quantities of stairs. I have been careful to eat according to the Word of Wisdom, limited my sweets and treats and now I am finally feeling optimistic and confident.

Seeing how you make me so VERY happy by cooking up all my very favorite things for my Easter basket (not even SANTA can come close to your goodies), I just have one tiny, little favor to ask of you. It's not much. You see, I absolutely LIVE for Reese's Pieces eggs and Reese's Peanut Butter eggs and jelly beans (the orange and black ones) and those sugary gummy bunnies and cinnamon rabbits and Sixlets and.....well, you get the hint.

So here's the deal: I really NEED you to leave me ALL these things inside my Easter Basket...I really do. But it would sure make my holiday a bit more enjoyable to know that everything I was eating was completely calorie free. So, could you possibly leave off the "nutritional facts" part of the packaging? Or better yet, could you possibly copy the following "nutritional facts" and tape it to the package for me?

Thank you.

Sincerely,

{A VERY grateful}
Me