My "Santa"

I have no idea how to begin this post. I am so flabbergasted, at a loss for words. I am dumbstruck. I feel so in debted to "Santa" right now that I cannot even hardly control my emotions.

Two nights ago, a large box was left on my doorstep with an envelope attached to it. The only thing written was "Audrey:Do not open box or envelope until Christmas". What do you do? A huge (and I mean HUGE) box sitting there with only my name...I did what any respectable person would do-I held the envelope up to the light and tried for over an hour to read what the paper inside said. Unfortunately, it was folded in half and in a difficult font so I couldn't read it. UGH! I had to wait.

We were leaving for Christmas, so I got to open it on Christmas Eve. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't process my thoughts let alone speak! Inside the envelope was a simple piece of paper that reads "Thank you for always sharing your talents. I heard you could use one of these. Love, Santa P.S. Don't hook it up to your computer yet. The Finale program is on it's way."

An anonymous "Santa" had left me a brand-new digital piano and the Finale songwriting program! Okay, that's not just some random box of chocolates sitting on my doorstep. That is a HUGE, MASSIVE investment! I know! I've looked and searched and wished for them for 2 years now, but never told anyone but my husband. After about 20 minutes of staring at the gift with my mouth wide open (my husband had to check on me several times to make sure I was breathing then he sat and stared with me, saying "I could never out-do this!"), it finally kicked in and I started sobbing. I couldn't stop until we were nearly at my parents' house 3 hours away. Then, I was up most of the night last night thinking of the sacrifice that someone made in my behalf. I have absolutely NO IDEA who would be so possessed to spend that huge chunk of money on someone like me! I have racked my brain for any clues or hints or conversations that may lead me to discover my secret "Santa". I am really super at picking up on clues and reading into people and I AM COMPLETELY STUMPED! Not a trace or speck of evidence!

It is so difficult to comprehend that someone believes in me so much that they would make this large of a sacrifice in my behalf. I can't understand it. And I have no way to thank them. So, if "Santa" is out there reading, I have a letter for you.

Dear "Santa",

Thank you from the very bottom of a most humble heart. No one in the world knows the internal struggles I have been facing. You have given me the most precious gift anyone could ever bestow on me at the time when I was ready to give up, when I was struggling to pick up my feet again, when I hardly could believe in myself, let alone my abilities, anymore, when I felt like it was just too hard to keep on going on and that all my times and efforts and pains were simply wasted and unneeded. I have constantly and consistently felt that I was just not good enough. But, "Santa", you gave me life. You gave me a future. You gave me confidence and answered my prayers. "Santa", you gave me the most precious gift in all the world: You gave me belief. I will not let you down. I will succeed.

Thank you.

With an ever-grateful (and so unworthy) heart,

Audrey